Time for some connection selection…

by | 10th November, 2013 | being present, honesty, thoughts on life

I learned a lovely lesson this week. I had an opportunity to revist the power of our connections with each other- real, physical, human connection. I mean being in the same room as another human being and having a conversation. I learned that there’s nothing more energising than being present to other people. Especially people I have never met before because I know, even prior to our introductions that I am already connected to them. The very fact that we’re alive means that we have each other in common and that is a fascinating idea. So, just like poor drunk Uncle Fred on Christmas day, whether I like your antics or not I am fundamentally connected to you.

The wonderfully generous business people of the Central Coast held a fundraiser event to support The Rebuild Foundation by hosting a business networking event, and we were invited to attend. As a Rebuild representative this inevitably meant having discussions with these successful business people  about their coping strategies in times of great stress. Can you guess what their most common response was? Connecting with others. Maintaining a commitment to keep attending networking functions, seeking out others for advice and being brave enough to share when things are tough.

rebuild nightI can see why they are so successful because they choose to behave in a way that is contrary to what the majority of us choose to do when we feel down. For many people our ego keeps us quiet and we choose not to share our struggles with others for fear of looking weak, unable to cope or a failure. How ironic that the exact opposite is actually the truth!

If we are all simply energy, the key is to choose your energy source wisely. I’ve come to realise that a fire flamed takes longer to extinguish. As nice as it might be to share my thoughts over a cuppa with my dearest friend, in some situations that may not help if they spend their time sympathising with me, and therefore I remain stuck with the same thoughts. Sometimes, agreeing with me (although comforting at the time) only fuels my fire and makes the issue much harder to let go. I’m not saying that sharing with friends has no value, of course it does, but there’s an argument there for expanding our connection with others when needed.

fire When faced with a problem, a connection to people who challenge my thinking whilst maintaining my self esteem throughout are often the ones I find to be most energising. Yes, it’s easier to share with the sympathisers but for some situations it’s less rewarding. I’ve come to realise this if I find myself holding on to an issue for more than a few days…am I connecting with the right people who might help me move on? Am I open to feeling a bit uncomfortable when my thinking is challenged?

Indeed, this is often a sound argument for seeking professional help  – to connect with someone whose energy can help you move past the issues you are facing. That was certainly the case for me. I hope you find value in your connection with others this week xx